This will make all canadians smile

Christina thanks for sending me this email I have posted in my blog.  I had a great laugh!

Now  that Vancouver will  be hosting the  2010 Winter Olympics,  these are some questions people from all over the  world are asking.

Believe  it or not these questions about Canada were  posted on  an International Tourism Website.

Obviously  the answers are a joke;  but the questions were really  asked!

Q: I  have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the  plants grow? (England )

A.  We import all plants fully grown and then just sit  around and watch them die.

Q: Will  I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )

A:  Depends on how much you've been  drinking.

Q: I  want to walk from Vancouver to  Toronto -  can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A:  Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of  water.

Q: Is  it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ?  ( Sweden )

A:  So it's true what they say about  Swedes.

Q:  Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ?  Can  you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver ,  Edmonton and Halifax ?  ( England )

A:  No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for  trading purposes.

Q: Can  you give me some information about hippo racing  in Canada ?  ( USA)

A:  A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south  of Europe   Ca-na-da  is that big country to your North...oh forget it.  Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary  Come  naked.

Q: Which  direction is North in Canada ?  ( USA )

A:  Face south and then turn 180 degrees contact us when  you get here and we'll send  the rest of the directions.

Q:  Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )

A:  Why? Just use your fingers like we  do.

Q:  Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?  ( USA )

A:  Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering  Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.  Sure,  the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night  in Vancouver and  in Calgary,  straight after the hippo races. Come  naked.

Q:  Do you have perfume in Canada ?  ( Germany )

A:  No, WE don't stink.

Q:  I have developed a new product that is the fountain of  youth.  Where  can I sell  it in Canada ? ( USA )

A:  Anywhere significant numbers of Americans  gather.

Q:  Can you tell me the regions in British  Columbia where  the female population is  smaller than the male population? ( Italy )

A:  Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q:  Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ?  ( USA )

A:  Only at Thanksgiving.

Q:  Are there supermarkets in Toronto and  is milk available all year round? (Germany )

A:  No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan  hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q:  I have  a question about a famous animal in Canada ,  but I forget its name. It's a kind  of big horse with horns. ( USA )

A:  It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent,  eating the brains of anyone walking  close to them. You can scare them off by spraying  yourself with human urine before you go out  walking.

Q:  Will I be able to speak English most places I go?  ( USA )

A:  Yes, but you will have to learn it  first.

   Please  send this on to any Canadian (or  others)

  who  you think will enjoy it as much as I  did.